For the Men |
Xerxes knew his wife was hot, so he wanted to parade her in front of ‘the guys’, to be ogled at, so he, through her, could become the object of envy as the guys began to have adulterous thoughts about her.
This is like pornography. This kind of thing encourages men to compare women and gets them into a lusty and adulterous frame of mind.
So firstly, for us men, our wives, and fiances, they are our standard of beauty. No one else. Men, your standard of beauty is your wife. Ladies, your standard of beauty and masculinity is your husband.
If your spouse is tall, you’re into tall, if they’re short, you’re into short. If your spouse is thin, you’re into thin, if they’re wide, you’re into wide, etc.
Secondly, our wives aren’t trophies to parade around. Single ladies, wives, fiances, if your men, or future men ever asks you to parade around in front of ‘the guys’ or the world, wear indecent things, show off in front of people, just say no and stay away.
Thirdly, men, your wife should be your best friend! This takes work, this takes time, and this needs to be done on purpose every day. If Vashti and Xerxes had’ve been friends, do you think he would’ve treated her like this?
For the Women |
Number One, submission doesn’t include degrading, humiliating or being made to do dangerous things. If your husband is asking you to disobey God, tell him to stuff it.
Above him there is another king – Jesus. Men aren’t born with authority in the family, it’s given to them by God, that’s the only reason they have it. It’s not innate, we’re not born with it. We’re borrowing it from God and if your husband is disobeying God, if he asks you to disobey God, then he has lost that authority.
Ladies, you have to learn to be ready to say ‘no’ to your husbands.
And girls, if your boyfriend does any of this too, ‘no’ is the answer. If he asks you to take off your clothes, if he asks you to have sex with him – the answer is ‘no!’ Stop dating him, dump him because he’s a tool!
If We’re Wrong, We Need to Repent |
This is something Xerxes never did. He just asked his wife to do something horribly degrading. What should he have done? Apologise!
‘Sorry honey, I was drunk, I was with the guys, and got really stupid. It won’t happen again.’ If he’d done anything like this, I’m sure that with time and with good behaviour, things would’ve moved on. But instead, he stays unrepentant, and it becomes a national crisis.
When you’re wrong, repent. It doesn’t matter if you’re powerful, the boss, the husband, the wife, the parent, the child, the pastor or the congregation. If you’re wrong, repent.
Repentance is saying, ‘I’m sorry, I was wrong. I could make excuses, but I’m not going to, because I was wrong.’
When you don’t repent, you being building a defence, you begin building a case. And this is never a good place to be.
If we’re to be a part of Jesus’ better kingdom, we answer to a higher law than society’s. May we be a people worthy of that kingdom – honorable, faithful, full of integrity, love, compassion, and forgiveness.
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[Excerpt from the second week or our series on Esther: The King’s Queen. You can find the sermon HERE.]
